First, let me make some confessions about my prayer life:

1. I am a guy.  I know that sounds like a cop out type of answer, but it’s true.  On average, guys use less words per day than girls.  I have 4 girls in my family and they talk my ear off, especially my 4 year old, Gabie (trust me, the name fits!).  So by the end of the day, when I get to my prayer time, when the girls are finally asleep, I feel like I have run out words.

2. By God’s nature, I am an introvert.  Simply put, it means I get energized by looking within, not by being with others.  If I prefer being by myself instead of being with people who I can, how difficult do you think it is for me to spend time with a being that I can’t see?

Prayer, it seems, has always been difficult for me.   I recognized this as I started college as a Bible major.  I knew it needed to change, so I did what must of us do when I had a problem that needed solving: I bought a book.  I bought several books in fact.  I bought books that would teach me how to pray. I bought books filled with powerful prayers that could change my life.  I found books about obscure prayers of the Bible and books about the Lord’s Prayer.  I could tell you a lot about prayers, but I still couldn’t pray!

For awhile I thought that there must be something wrong with me.  Then when I became a minister, I knew there was something wrong.  Who ever heard of a minister that doesn’t love to pray!  I’ll admit, even during the last three years as a minster, I have struggled in prayer.

But here is a realization that I have come to: prayer reflects my relationship with God.  I know that sounds, simple, but stop and think about the relationships that you have with people.  How many of your friends do you talk to every single day?  My list is very short, in fact the only person who makes that list is my wife.  Now, I ask myself, what do I talk with my wife about?  Right now most of our conversations are about our kids and our upcoming move.  There are the constant reminders of things that need to be done before we leave.  And while my wife probably feels that she repeats herself more often than she should, there are very few things that we talk about more than two or three times.

So why is it that when most of us pray we have the same formalized list that repeat time and again.  If you talked with your friends like this they would hang up the phone, stop viewing your text, or simply walk away.  I think we also get bored saying the same thing. Think about it.  Something exciting happens to you so you tell a friend. Later, a co-worker wants to hear the story, then the guy down the hall wants to hear.  Soon, you have to tell everyone in the break room.  Eventually you get tired of it.  You wish you had recorded it so you could just pop the tape in.  I think sometimes, God just wants us to break the cycle and pray something out of the ordinary.  Maybe I just need to pray the impossible, to pray for something that only God can handle.  Maybe I should break away from the “script” and actually talk with Him the way I normally talk.

I don’t know, maybe you can help me out, will you pray for me?

Tags: Discipleship, Personal Disciplines, Prayer, Spiritual Growth